I’m Married. Find Something Else To Talk About.

“Hey, how’s married life?”
Oh wow, what a great line. I’ve never heard that one before. Great. I hope you say it again next time we talk.

“So? How does it feel to be married?”
That’s a brilliantly thought-out and sensible question, one I was hoping someone would ask me. It feels the same, thanks. I’m looking forward to you asking me again soon.

Chandeliers vs Centrepieces

After my girl and I got married, I quickly realized that everyone was asking me the same questions over and over again, where before there may have been just awkward pauses in conversation. Marriage (and later, children) seems to beget a breakdown in the art of conversation, where said marriage (or children) become the only topics of conversation. What’s up with that, yo?

No offense to anyone who asks these questions, as I’m sure I’ve been guilty of it in the past, but it’s as though marriage suddenly becomes the “safety” topic of conversation. Don’t know what to say while we’re in the elevator? Ask me what’s different in my life now that I’m married. At a loss for words when we run into each other on the street? Ask me if I’m there only because my wife let me out. Not sure how to respond when I threaten to punch you in the face if you ask me about marriage one more time? Ask me about marriage one more time. Go ahead. Ask. Seriously. I insist.

Wedding Bling

I understand that for some, being married is a common bond between people, where there may be no other links or threads. So these people bring it up because they have nothing else to bring up. For others, marriage is a mystery, one they may or may not hope to unravel one day. So these people bring up the topic of marriage because they are genuinely curious. But some people just bring up marriage for the sake of bringing it up, because they know that failing all else, they can ask about your wife. Or Husband. Or kids. Or bastard stepchildren. It’s quite annoying really. But I digress.

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